u

among the four,

it's

V,

is very very

extraordinary.

hey

Happy birthday, Idiot.

its so difficult to stop missing someone.

im not even good at that.

god damn it.

Once a while you will find someone,
Who will turn your world around,
Pick you up when you're feeling down.

im not quitter

The world is small,
Our egos are way bigger.
We can't let go,
We can't bow down,
We can never get on our kneels.

Its hard to forgive,
impossible to forget.
We hate so much, that we lost ourselves.

Try and try,
Tried and tried,
We tried so hard but it never worked.
It never worked.

Now,
give me one god damn reason why I should let it go.
One will do, twice would hurt;
cause your friends have all said enough.

i dont care

I'm missing you,
and I'm not gonna act like I don't.

I don't care how my friends are gonna judge me.
How helplessly weak I am, I don't care.
How awkward, naïve, stupid.
I don't fucking give a shit.
I just know that I miss her,
and its driving me nuts.
Tonight, every fucking night.

And shit, this sunday's familiar.
She left on a sunday before too.
Curse me, shorten my life.
I don't want that to happen no more,
no more.
No more.

prettydecentsunday

thank you for kissing me.

thank you for holding my hands.

thank you for making me head over heels.

most of all,

thank you for all the question marks at the end of the day.

look, it's not bout me all the time, in this place.

im just writing based on some of my friends or through novels.

i just thought its nice.

perhaps it's overrated but anyway.

yes. im done with notgoodsunday.

it went well, decently.

its not planned anyway so it feels good after getting a positive result.

i really hate/love true or dare now, it suck in a way.

more importantly, its the bloody dares.

how could they have such sportsmanship man. F

okay, exciting.

baby you got me feelin' wonderful

this will kick me off every monday!

awesome.

this is wonderful !

dear Alvin #1

hello there,

the angel from my nightmare.

maybe we won't be like used to,

imma still do w/e i want to.

i must be asking for it, for not making it clear.

clearer.

sometimes i should be like my friends, "ah fuck it, whatever lah."

im not used to that, or i hardly ever do that.

see, i was thinking which of the stuff i did back then, like perhaps a year or two back?

perhaps in my mind, i will still have that sort of concept but how did i end up not putting it into action?

now i have no idea which part of me was before.

i just know a huge part of me, misses her. thats it.

im just glad that she responded, in any kind of way.

okay, im gonna talk about my homies.

something is wrong with them now, it seems like everyone's having problem/s.

bs, mk and yj.

probably bs and mk got the same problem.

im not sure if bs got a decent birthday this year, but definitely not the best because of that she.

yj seems to be in some sort of mia mode, i thought i should be the one doing that.

i hope they're fine.

somehow

"Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean

And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine

But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me

When it comes to love we're just as blinded"

I won't say I'm feeling emotional every other day, but this time round.
I am.
I can lecture and convince myself through this ordeal, something I'm pretty decent in.
But just not today,
Not this time.
This confidence's been protecting myself all these while, not a single soul could crush it.
I will take it off.
Imma feel shit.
I will still laugh/smile because its my own problem, and I hate getting sympathy.
I find it rather horrible to be laughing right now, just to hide all the sadness and disappointments.
I am still clutching my fists.
I'm not ready to give it up,
I might tear.
Its alright, I told myself.
She's worth it.

If I'm turning crazy, stop me.
Now sorry Alvin, I've let you down.

Look at you.
You're all messed up,
just because of one lady.
You're pulling your hair to salvage this,
just because of one lady.
You're getting more and more worried about where this is going,
just because of one lady.

Was it worth while?
possibly.
Yes.

I can surrender at anything, just not something that I didn't even mean in the very first place. no way, anything but that.
Its not bout being wrong or right, I have no such intention to begin with.
Not a slightest bit.
Esp when I know bout this death spot all along and being conscious bout it. And gracious, I end up killing myself for one unintentional move.
I am cursing myself for that.

Imma not gonna sit here and wait for death,
I will still try.
I won't succeed, at least I die trying.
I'm not some genius or magician, I cant resolve every single thing.
But this will always remain, Try.

Are you afraid?
Yes,
so?

don't ask why

i probably wouldn't act like my horoscope if i wasn't deprived of freedom back in my secondary school days. such importance etched deeply within me, i hated the idea of being constraint or subjected to rules. w/o that, i wouldn't be the aquarius i am today. cool huh?

no way, no way in hell would i've done it.

probably could see me as one of the "da nan ren" mentality, yes to a certain extent, definitely. anyone could be puzzled why didn't i do that? if you'd been there and done that, you will clearly know what's it like to be in that shoes. cant do it, never will.

then, i remembered you giving me all these rules.

i struggled didn't i?

maybe no one will ever believe me giving in, my friends wouldn't. no way

i still did, in the end.

isn't it.

yes, some things can't be explained.

goodnight.

Is it really because of the generation gap?

I'm not sure if I'm wrong to base all the faults on that. Perhaps I'll know when I'm a parent next time round. Do you call them stubborn or something else? They don't seemed to give it a thought at times, at least not on the surface. We're all gonna take care of our parents in time to come, how do we prevent heated collision when its for their own good?

I don't know yet, thou I'm not the eldest among the siblings but you still will want to do something decent.

This is not very cool, the frequent head aches for the past one month. Been trying to rest early, but it doesn't seems to work. I'm cool, I am.

Its not bout partying, its all bout the drunk part.

this is Personal

Deleted few hundreds of words.
Cool huh.
I need to make it simple, I see stands for neutral.
If I'm not feeling good bout it, I will definitely say it out.

I give a damn, but who likes to be called naggy? Not me, its like slamming a "stfu" to my face.

I was laughing at what I wrote earlier on.
Not for the eyes of the viewers, explicit stuff.
I'm cool with it, always will at the end.
Worry not, I can definitely handle emotions much better than anyone of you.
At ease :)

tell me,

am i doing it right?

Okay leh-pa time, so I'm gonna blog.

I ever wondered how much I have changed ever since knowing you. I wouldn't know, my friends are the ones who will know, and possibly you. For the better or the worst, I have no idea.

Perhaps walking the journey till here, I ought to be preparing for the worst. Cautious and careful? Then again, it wouldn't be me. I wouldn't feel like myself if that's the case. Surely, this doesn't feel pleasant at all.
And I'm stuck on what to continue.

just kill me, i mean it.

very much do.