i have lots of shit to do,
including visiting the salon.

did i slept the wrong posture last night?

the left side of the head is aching, ouch f.

rants, i uds.

i guess, never say never

was browsing through tumblr.com

been wondering wth was that.

is it just another avenue for us to rant like, blogspot

they have really, yes i do mean Really lots of love quotes.

you know the thing bout those quotes, they're somewhat the same.

okay, im not a fan of "used-to-be" but this

really freaked me out.

enjoy

Remember me? I used to be your favourite hello, your hardest goodbye, I used to be the person you wanted to talk most and will miss if you didn’t get to talk to me. I used to be someone you wanted to be with everyday and night, I used to be the first thought in your mind in the morning and the last thought before you go to sleep, I used to be the person who you wished to see me smile when I’m down and who wish I didn’t cry, I used to be the most beautiful person to you. Yeah, I used to be that person. Do you still remember me?

oh shit, i got slapped in the face now.

right.

im too tired to write bout the latter post, high expectations.

now you.

close your eyes and sleep,

it's getting late.

if you're that, smart

saw this particular book in kinokuniya,

"What do you do?"

then the question posted was,

so,

How do you still stand your ground when your girlfriend is crying?

then i asked the guys, we were pretty puzzled bout it.

but at the end of it, none of us got an answer.

not even bs,

not even me.

so, what will you do then?

cant believe we won!

if i ever smile when i chance upon you,

it wouldn't be acting cool,

it woudn't be being sarcastic.

i'm just,

glad to see you again.

its been years after all

listen

"Message Sent."

i think if i continue watching THIS, ill pretty much turn to gay soon.

HAHAH

maybe guys should watch such genre at times,

helps a lil bit.

i mean, you don't have to know a lot about their stuff, just bits and bits will help you in understanding them. of course, no running away from accompanying those shopaholics for long hours.

you know there are one kind of people whos opposite (i dont mean totally opposite!) of what they want others to be, the pretty naggy type. yes, i should be one of them.

dont you think just hate people like me. HA

but i have enough confidence to know what's pretty and what's not. suck it up

okay, this is not the case.

shut up and watch.

i was glancing through those entries i wrote after i went emotionally down weeks back.

realized that, i might be subconsciously still writing bout her at the later part.

like, f me.

alright alright, i am for some.

undeniably.

i cant always use the, "no its just a sudden imaginary thoughts about a particular scenario thats why im pen'ing it down."

anyway the sole reason for writing this part was because i read something regarding the issue that somehow finalized the chapter between us.

being someone who loves to read the immediate reactions, i did know that she might feel this way if im going to press the Send button.

pressed it thou.

refused to believe back then, and now im laughing in disbelief while typing this.

ya, now i really have the idea why i was so wrong.

now i know how you felt when it happened.

yeah

it was late, i know.

dont remind me.

im just,

glad to know it.

oh cmon, its a good time to sleep after a pouring night

even though its 6:40am now.

good night!

horse with no remorse

how the f can i be a good lover without you?

chill, its a sudden thought.

i need to start writing about love,

for that,

i have to be in some kind of romance.

infatuation would be easy.

nah im just kidding right here.

here's something nice,

listen

we're good, don't worry.

nahhhh

i am influenced by you, badly.

you shouldn't worry bout what they say,

'cause they got nothing on you babe.

france lost.

family going overseas soon,

i gonna work so im skipping it.

damn

i wonder,

is my certain angle considered a good or bad thing?

umm, good night.

joanne dropped by my place earlier on, after her work.

man, shes really in a mess.

i struggled to tell her the truth, but she needs to hear it anyhow.

she will be fine, i believed that.

my expression literally tells everything;

i needed some kind of help.

come to a point that i cant even judge whats white/black.

pardon me for not voicing out, i needed the opposite sex for advice.

its just, the confirmation that i need.

why the shit do i even need that?

perhaps it just makes me feel better that hey, i didnt make this decision myself.

perhaps i can no longer tolerate that such shit sparkle off from me,

myself.

crap, this just isn't me.

f.

continue later, need to lie on bed now.

it's lovely

im chilled,

feels good man.

yes i'm home :D

suddenly avril lavigne's songs just kept ringing in my head,

so i decided to search for the album at home.

brings me back to the school days,

she was my favorite;

still is.

kinda shaped the way i looked at r/s back then with her songs.

as i was watching xin gua da dao, did i mentioned that this week is damn shiok?

okay before i go and do my stuff,

this song is not for the weak hearted. enjoy

this probably kills you, the original

this line is great, i love the interactions

definitely something out of the norm man.

but im missing too many tv series, gonna spend the sunday chilling out with youtube.

like really CHILLLLLL

now im feeling lethargic, its too early to be awake.

come,

let's sleep.

must be the singha beer making my head spin.

using my last 5% of energy,

i shall end this post with,

see you guys after saturday.

im dead beat today at forbidden city.

f'ing hell.

kill me please.

that's how you fall in love

"say hi, don't be rude"

and with that,

i went head over heels for her.

haha

OMG ITS RAINING LIKE DAMN SONG HERE

AND I CANT LAZE IN BED,

TIME TO WORK AGAIN!

HIGH

i feel good

okay i will try to blog even though im so bloody tired now.

damn tiring but worth it, pay-wise and slack-wise.

so while i have the energy, i shall write my ass off.

doing two events by sony ericsson and trio

and jesus, why are all event management incharge babe-wise? HAHAH

ah ha, keep it discreet as always.

goodnight.

GOOD DAY AHEAD.

SLEEP AND WORK AT NIGHT.

so we will be seeing them on 16th, rehearsing.

can you fucking believe it.

sony ericsson music show huh

18 june at marina bay, wonder girls! OH F.

SONG TTM.

high

okay please let me get well by tml!

gonna be a backstage crew for Wondergirls on tuesday!

HAHAHAH

wonder girls fighting!

pass me the panadols

okay got hit by combos,

overnight too much kills.

pick it up

honestly, its too bright to write anything
and im damn tired after a draggy 4 hours session of mahjong.
its f'ing 8:33am!
SLEEP

okay i should get rid of the gift i prepared weeks back.
right, it sure looked stupid coming from me but hell
i did lots of writing and drawings can.
all my compilation of quotes and what not,
down the drain.
not perfectly done, just 75% done.
guess it was never meant to be finished.
oh well, love it.

girl i am only human

stay tuned for next week!

k, night.

contradict is me

i am sick of missing your candy ass.

mind is being preoccupied by the past.

here, listen to the voices of my heart.

now, come inspirations.

that song triggered me,

so i decided to turn on my notebook and write my night away.

if youre missing someone badly like i am,

you should be feeling the shit im having now;

first class seat.

how the hell am i gonna describe this?

its like not having your bloody phone with you.

you cant focus much,

you feel like something is amiss.

you just dont feel RIGHT.

you dread lying on the bed.

with your eyes shut,

youre being brought to another dimension,

where memories playback like a french romance film.

paris lovers, perhaps.

you feel like texting and calling him/her,

then you curse yourself with it.

you forced your ego to hold you back.

one day i might dropped dead from exhaustion.

then i will ask myself this,

am i exaggerating

or

am i for real.

you were real

and i wont be embarrassing to say,

i fucking miss you now.

now,

someone please laugh at me

right now.

night

what the fuck

are you doing

big task

ignoring everything for a moment,

the other bryan is gonna propose to the gf.

like f, is he out of his mind?

skipping that,

he was telling me the proposal plan and surprisingly he wants me to polish his idea(s) up.

not literally every details, after all its his own big affair man.

not sure if i can live up his hopes since i was criticized for not being romantic enough previously.

speaking of being romantic on a regular basis, but such a big day like proposing, thats gonna kill lots of brain cells.

those good news and bad news are happening too fast,

mixture of thoughts.

so, are you romantic enough?

ごめんなさい。

um, hello?

so happening nowadays.

what do guys do when a girl called you and starts crying for no reasons?

you don't say a thing, and ask her to cry it out.

no. its my friend, fion.

third time already, same shit different days.

she just need a friend to make things clear for her, bout her shit.

glad shes fine now though

k, be back late.

behind the mirror

to think that you actually made me look forward

in seeing a change in myself.

just pardon me

these few entries.

im just writing without any edits.

pardon my voice.

how did i wrote that much?

bloody tap water.

f u, alvin.

okay elis is officially taking off to australia now, 4 years.

and as promised, ill tryyyyy to fly over there during her second or third.

accommodation provided can!

i want to catch sex and the city 2 but hell, no one seems interested in it.

god damn it.

you are really not me

before i start my stuff,

jay chou's new songs are nice.

give it a try

was there a point where we asked ourselves,

"Why do we have to go through this? and this?"

i actually started this confrontation years back.

did i made myself go through this shit,

or was it laid there beforehand?

yes im confused now, i really am.

a lot of questions that were clear to me seems so unclear now.

when my friends asked me how the hell i let it go so easily, they never get it.

most of them.

no matter how much terrible state you made yourself go through,

you cant let it go that easily.

its never fucking easy, dont you get it.

i do think of her, crazily.

before sleep and even waking up, its her instantly.

i just hid it within the heart, you dont have to go around giving everyone the idea that you misses someone.

when the mood is right, you unlocked it and feel the whole shit.

used to believe that any thing is possible with love,

any fucking thing.

how can i fucking fail? i always deliver.

you experienced enough to know that feelings alone can't satisfy the whole love shit.

then you convinced yourself that

if i fucking harass her more, she will fall for it.

if i play hard to get, she will want me more.

if im sincere enough, its more than enough.

you will be very wrong at the finishing line.

i really wish i was back then,

those moments.

say im selfish in the recent event,

say im heartless,

say that maybe or perhaps things aint as bad as i thought it would be.

and when it happens,

whos gonna heal every shit?

she didnt expect me to tell her all that,

she thanked me.

you know what really drove me nuts?

whoever thats up there, answered my wish.

it felt damn fucking good, instantly.

i would want to tell her many stuff, everything

but i couldnt.

knowing that the disease will spread like wild fire,

i fucking cant do it.

if i have to,

just smile.

just smile,

always.

its such a lovely night to wave good bye,

to existence.

been there, never gonna done it

okay

how do i start?

feels like im reading a love story now.

this would be the best talk ever, yup it is.

not the usual messages stuff,

a cosy yet emotional confessions facing your impeccable appearance.

the gaps between our age and maturity affects us.

if its just for the moments, i could live with it and go all the way out for you.

mainly because you're too nice.

too fucking nice to me,

you deserve better.

look, i cant run away from that anymore.

sooner or later, it will daunt on me.

marriage.

how bout five years down the road, you will be at the marriage age but i wont be.

im so against it, i wouldnt want to do it even at my 30s.

i shouldnt hinder you,

shouldnt waste your time.

i have no idea how i managed that, just did it somehow.

thought i could handle it, everything.

im glad that such thoughts fucked me before bed time for these few nights.

i guess its my turn to pass this around,

"we won't be the same like before, not anymore."

jesus christ,

did i just had two roller coaster rides?

now how the fuck do i adjust my feelings now?

did i grow up

or am i just afraid?

i need to catch my breathe, now.

no one would know this until now.

we're good,

good friends,

but never lovers.

-amour

thank god she doesnt come here.

thanks for the understanding.

reflect with sins

some guys talk really disgust me

shouldnt cross a line when treating a girl

thats fucked up.

but i am one of them in every ways

this is funny,

[b]Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒl[Charlynn]l (R)[/b] says:

aww kena distracted now

tsk tsk

later hell vent her fury on u

Neil Gaiman says:

tsk

who said hell is a SHE

[b]Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒl[Charlynn]l (R)[/b] says:

WTF

ure gay

fking gay hell

OMG

thats news

thanks ah.

okay need to shower.

out of the blue

don't ask me why i'm doing this

i did ask myself why things become the way they are all the time

when you ask yourself,

hey things doesn't really seemed that terrible before.

you feel helpless and most of all,

yes 可惜.

HAHAHAH

it was after i watched an interview bout jay chou,

you know, 很多感触

alright, mahjong time.

tampines, wth.

give me some luck please!

how many times?

5-6.

great. i woke up at 7am

when i slept at 3am.

long day ahead

come, hot milo.